…but then again, who doesn’t look good in neon?

To whom it may concern:
(Most especially our faithful, horny, and predominantly male american public)

I am writing you on behalf of strippers all across the great land to say, PLEASE, stop throwing Susan B. Anthony dollars at us. We appreciate the upgrade from quarters, nickels, and the occasional dime, but really you must be fucking retarded if you think we appreciate irony’s cruel bitchslap in addition to the whole “flying metal headed towards unprotected skin” issue.

And believe me. It is an issue. Ideally you’d be giving us fives anyway. Remember - your dollars, adjusted for inflation, just don’t go as far as they used to towards a new set of silicone or a case of Gerbers. Think about it.

cynically yours,
- s.danger

Finally, Apple released the long awaited (by me anyway) iJob. “Bringing the power of computers into new realms of entertainment.”

Check out our super awesome amazing fantastic video that will blow minds every which way. BAM POW WHAM SPLOOSH.

DO IT CHECK IT OUT. CLICK THAT LINK DAMNIT!

skull·nuts /skʌl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[skuhl-/nʌts/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciationnuhts] -noun

1. Optical Testicals
2. 
3. Eye Balls. Don’t ask